‘It’s your problem, pay for it yourself': Daughter left devastated after mom refuses to pay for school trip abroad that daughter failed to mention

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 31, 2024 6:00 AM EST

Were you a good or bad student in school?

I am not just asking whether you got good grades or not, because honestly, that says nothing about anything. What I want to know is if you did your homework, if were nice to the teachers, and if you took notes in classes. These things probably do say a little bit about how people are as adults, about how they are with deadlines, and if they manage to remember certain small details.

The mom in this Reddit story has had enough of her 15-year-old daughter's inability to meet a deadline. The daughter was constantly waiting until the last minute to do assignments and letting her mom know about important information from school, no matter how many times she was scolded about it. The last straw was when the daughter asked her mom to pay for a school trip to Germany the day the payment was due. That's when the exasperated mother had enough and told her daughter to pay for it herself.

A later edit reveals a piece of important information about the daughter that might tip the scale about whether or not the mother did the right thing, so scroll down for the full story. Once you are done, click here for a series of hilarious Friends memes.

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  • 01
    AITA for being petty and not paying for my daughters school trip?
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 02
    I 37f have a daughter Mia 15f. Mia is very forgetful/irresponsible when it comes to school. She is barely on time/late to school most days even though we live a 10 minute walk away. She will do homework last minute and often ask for extensions with work.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 03
    She had a tendency to remind me to pay for school related things like lunch money, just before I'm going to bed, or that she needs to take something into school so can we run to the store and quickly get it.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 04
    Last month, I went on a wild goose chase to help Mia locate ingredients for her home econ class, after she told me at half 10 she needs xyz ingredients and she just checked the fridge and we don't have it.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 05
    She was reading the ingredients of an email, and when I saw it was dated a week prior, got annoyed Mia couldn't have told me before when we did the big food shop for the family.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 06
    I told her the next time she needs something for school to tell me the day she gets told or the day after latest, or I will not be helping her out.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 07
    My husband has stopped helping Mia with her last minute requests and calls me a pushover for helping her out, but when she asked today to put down the deposit for a school trip I put my foot down.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 08
    Mia has known since the start of the school year she had a school trip to Germany. Her school sent an email out two months ago asking for deposits for kids to secure their place on trip. It's is about 150, and
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 09
    Mia asked me today to pay as the deadline is midnight or she may not be able to go. I reminded her what I said last time about deadlines and organisation
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 10
    and as she chose to tell me last minute I will not be paying for her deposit. She got upset as all her friends from history class are going. I told Mia that she can pay herself from her savings as she has a part
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 11
    time job, which is more than enough to cover her deposit, but she wanted to save up to buy a new game console. I told her to pick if she wanted to go on the trip or get a new game
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 12
    console and she called me an AH, and now I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable. My husband is on my side but my youngest said it was mean and Mia is very upset with me.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 13
    ETA- Mia doesn't have ADHD, but she is dyslexic so this does explain the schoolwork sometimes, but she will ask for extensions on top of her extensions which is a sore spot for her and my husband who wants her
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 14
    to be more organised and not leave work last minute. Mia has been tested for ADHD and doesn't not have it, I did my research at the time and realised it often gets
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 15
    overlooked for girls but even after getting another opinion she doesn't have ADHD. She gets help from a school advisor regarding her dyslexia and at home we have discussed strategies to help her stay on track with her responsibilities.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 16
    Love Beach8 2 days ago Prime Ministurd [554] ΝΤΑ If she didn't have enough of her own money, I'd probably cave but she wants YOU to spend YOUR money instead, knowing full well that she blew it, AGAIN.
    via u/LoveBeach8
  • 17
    Stick to your guns. She needs to literally pay for her mistake. If she can remember what game console she's saving for, she can remember her obligations.
    via u/LoveBeach8
  • 18
    If she has a cell phone, why isn't she setting her own alarms and entering reminders on her phone's calendar??? She's 15 years old, ffs. Stop babying her. You're not doing her any favors. How is she supposed to learn and eventually move out on her own if you're always enabling her?
    via u/LoveBeach8
  • 19
    haleorshine 1 day ago Yeah, I was tossing up whether this was the time to lay down the law, but the fact that she has the money to go, it's just that she doesn't get a game console and to go on this trip. A perfect way/time to teach her that her actions have consequences.
    via u/haleorshine
  • 20
    Solicited_Advisor - 1 day ago Enthusiast [6] NTA, but if she has issues with organization and has not been able to figure it out herself, it is your place as her parents to help her navigate this. For example, you can
    via u/Solicited_Advisor
  • 21
    set up a weekly family check in where she actively checks on all the things she needs to do, compiles a list, and shares it with you along with the respective deadlines. Joint activities like that would teach her the skills to be more organized.
    via u/Solicited_Advisor
  • 22
    Expecting her to figure it out on her own without guiding her (and then getting annoyed with her when she fails to be organized) seems unfair, or at least not helpful to her situation.
    via u/Solicited_Advisor
  • 23
    esgamex 1 day ago This. She needs help figuring out how she can meet these deadlines and be better organized. Scolding snd punishing are unlikely to work if she's floundering..
    via u/esgamex
  • 24
    motjh 2 days ago YTA "Dyslexia can affect memory, concentration, multi-tasking and communication. All impact on everyday life. If you're in a relationship with someone whose brain works differently to yours it can be confusing and frustrating."
    via u/motjh
  • 25
    I have a daughter with dyslexia and we went through the exact same things with her. It was frustrating at times. But it was the way her brain worked. We had to work on ways to help her remember. Example, getting her into the habit of putting anything with a deadline
    via u/motjh
  • 26
    as a reminder in her phone. Writing notes and leaving them in prominent places around the house. Lots of visual reminders. Over time my daughter did get better, but it wasn't because she remembered better or was more organized. She just had learned
    via u/motjh
  • 27
    ways to help that worked for her. Her brain still works the same as it did before. She had to work hard in learning a different way of doing things then the average student and she has now begun her adult life and is managing well. Dyslexia is much more then just trouble with reading and writing.
    via u/motjh
  • 28
    Excellent-Rain6909 · 2 days ago Also like...she's 15. Chill out OP- she's learning. It's not like she's continued to do something truly harmful. She's j messing up like kids do and taking away this massive thing (like what kid gets to travel w their school like that) is j gonna make her resent OP, not learn.
    via u/Excellent-Rain6909
  • 29
    Confident-Baker5286 2 days ago Partassipant [1] YTA- you are being a lazy parent and your husband is too. Your daughter is struggling, how are you helping her?
    via u/Confident-Baker5286
  • 30
    SMM9336 2 days ago I'm more confused as to why the PARENTS aren't getting these emails as well?...? This isn't like an excursion to the Zoo... it's a trip to GERMANY! You'd think parents would be involved/told/informed via email or some type of newsletter.. not the CHILD.
    via u/SMM9336
  • 31
    No-To-Newspeak . 2 days ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [49] NTA. Poor planning on your part does not constitute and emergency on my part. At age 15 your daughter should understand the importance of making lists, acting on issues when they arise (trip
    via u/No-To-Newspeak
  • 32
    email about deposit) and not ignoring them till the last minute and setting priorities. I am not saying she should master them at 15 but she should at least be working on it. Mia has hopefully learned an important lesson through your refusal to pay.
    via u/No-To-Newspeak

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aita school saving money drama mother flight askreddit reddit story petty husband family trip daughter payment Reddit mom money
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